I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
