Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
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