I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize