also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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