I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
