I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
