maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
