So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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