Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
