Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
