So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Randomize
