did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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