im drinking this country out of the recession.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
This is my gift to your gina
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
