I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
