I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
