Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
