We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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