did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
