I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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