You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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