guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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