In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
