where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
so that wasnt chicken after all
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
