apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
