I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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