She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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