I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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