I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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