The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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