Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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