I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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