i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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