a queef is a wish your heart makes.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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