dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
