they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
