Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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