oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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