I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
