Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize