My nipple is on Facebook.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I intend to get homeless drunk
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
