$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
sex in a hospital.. check
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
