So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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