the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
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When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
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If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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