One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
