I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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