wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
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