Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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