You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
