It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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