Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
