this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
