He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
