he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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