Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
bring money and cleavage
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
