he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
