You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
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i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
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Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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