look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
