friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
